Trong bài học hôm nay, Trí Đức English sẽ hướng dẫn các em cách bứt phá bài viết IELTS Writing Task 2 từ mức Band 6.0 lên Band 7.0+. Chúng ta sẽ phân tích cách nâng cấp luận điểm, sửa lỗi Cohesion và mở rộng kho từ vựng học thuật cao cấp.
"Advertising discourages people from being different individuals by making us all want to do the same and look the same. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?"
Dưới đây là một bài viết thực tế của học viên ở mức điểm Band 6.0. Các lỗi sai được đánh dấu chi tiết theo từng khía cạnh kỹ năng:
Some people argue that advertisements make people lose their individuality by encouraging them to look and think in the same way. I think this is not true. Advertising does not make people abandon uniqueness.
First of all, the function of advertisements is to display special features of different products to the public and provide a wider range of choices to the potential customers. For example, Uniqlo, as one of the most famous clothing brands, their commercial advertisements always focus on delivering the information about the comfortability and practicality of their clothes. In this way, people who prefer casual style might buy the products from Uniqlo while others who fancy more stylishly clothing might not. It is fair to say that advertising can hardly make people the same. Instead, it just provides them with more choices as well as information.
In addition, different goals of different advertisements give a boost to the diversity of people. Most of the advertisements have their targeted customers. For instance, clothing advertisements attract women, toy advertisements target children, and people who are feeling unwell pay attention to advertisements for medication. Therefore, advertisements fail to make people become the same because they appeal to different groups of people with different products.
Admittedly, advertising indeed changes people’s shopping habits in some way. For example, when companies try to maximize their sales of newly released products, they normally choose to invite celebrities to endorse their product in advertisements. Fans of these endorsers tend to purchase endorsed products without thinking whether they are useful. As a result, people will lose their personalities and become featureless. However, I need to point out that different people have different obsession with stars, so no everyone would buy the same goods to emulate their idols.
Để đạt Band 7.0+, các em cần làm chủ hoàn toàn danh sách từ vựng chuyên sâu dưới đây:
Cùng nghiên cứu cách triển khai lập luận so sánh đối chiếu sâu sắc và sử dụng vốn từ vựng học thuật tự nhiên trong bài viết mẫu xuất sắc này:
Some people argue that advertisements make people lose their individuality by encouraging them to look and think in the same way. Considering the variety of products in advertising and consumers’ free will, I completely disagree with this point of view. I contend that advertisements are no more than a tool by which one can have a glimpse of the most up-to-date goods.
The function of advertisements is to display special features of different products to the public and provide a wider range of choices to potential customers. For example, Uniqlo is one of the most famous clothing brands and its commercials always focus on delivering information about the comfort and practicality of its clothes. By contrast, Zara, a well-known high-street brand, promotes fashionable outfits appealing to those who prefer to dress stylishly. It is therefore fair to say that advertising does not make people look the same; instead, it diversifies their appearance. Whether people want to be sporty or stylish, choices are out there for them to distinguish themselves from others.
Admittedly, advertising with celebrity endorsements influences people’s shopping habits to some extent. Companies in the past always tried to maximize their sales of newly released products by hiring celebrities to run advertising campaigns. Some fanatic fans of these idols would purchase the products without thinking if these were useful to them. In this way, these people, by buying the same things, ran the risk of losing their original identities and becoming less individualistic. However, it is important to point out that nowadays more and more consumers not only pay attention to who appears in commercials, but are also aware of the tricks behind the marketing strategies. As time goes by, the public will develop a clearer idea about whether to trust these advertisements or not, and in turn, they will re-evaluate their own needs or reactions to this kind of publicity.
In conclusion, advertising contributes to shoppers’ individuality by providing more choices to satisfy their different needs. There can be times when some of them purchase an item because of celebrity charm, but this will not stop them from considering their true shopping needs in the long run.
Học viên hãy hoàn thành các bài tập dưới đây để đánh giá mức độ tiếp thu bài học. Toàn bộ đáp án và phân tích chấm chữa chi tiết sẽ được bảo mật và chỉ hiển thị sau khi học viên bấm nút Nộp Bài ở cuối trang.
Hệ thống học liệu Trí Đức English đã ghi nhận kết quả làm bài của bạn. Dưới đây là phần chấm chữa chi tiết và bài viết mẫu định hướng từ giáo viên:
Đáp án đúng: B. fashionable outfits
Giải thích chi tiết: Theo văn cảnh "satisfy those who prefer to dress stylishly" (thỏa mãn những ai thích ăn mặc sành điệu), đáp án hợp lý nhất về mặt ngữ nghĩa phải là "fashionable outfits" (trang phục thời thượng). Phương án A không phù hợp ngữ nghĩa, phương án C sai từ loại vì trong bài mẫu chính thức đã sửa danh từ "comfortability" thành danh từ ngắn gọn, tự nhiên hơn là "comfort".
Câu sửa chuẩn xác nhất: "Uniqlo, as one of the most famous clothing brands, focuses its advertisements on comfort." hoặc "Uniqlo is one of the most famous clothing brands, and its commercials always focus on the comfort and practicality of its clothes."
Các điểm lỗi đã được khắc phục:
"The influence of celebrity endorsements on modern consumers has generated significant debate. On the one hand, critics argue that purchasing decisions are heavily manipulated by celebrity charm. Fanatic fans often blindly follow their idols and purchase newly released products without evaluating if they are genuinely useful. This behavior leads to impulsive buying, forcing consumers to look the same and eventually lose their individuality.
On the other hand, I side with those who believe that modern buyers are rational and increasingly media-literate. Rather than succumbing easily to beautiful commercials, modern shoppers are highly aware of the tricks behind marketing strategies. Instead of buying goods impulsively, they tend to re-evaluate their own needs and make logical comparison between competing brands, such as Zara's fashionable outfits and Uniqlo's practical clothing. In conclusion, while star power remains effective, consumers have sufficient free will and wisdom to resist marketing pressures and make decisions that truly satisfy their different needs."
Tiêu Chi Chấm Chữa & Lời Khuyên Từ Giáo Viên Trí Đức English: